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The other day I was shopping and saw something I really liked that wasn’t on sale. Even though I could afford it, I put it back because paying full price just made me feel something weird..idk..like stuffy?. I realize I do this a lot. I almost refuse to buy things unless they’re discounted. Weird right?

It's not weird at all! It sounds like you're just really conscious about getting the best value for your money, which is actually quite smart. A lot of people feel more satisfaction in purchasing something when they know they've gotten a good deal. It's like a little victory. Plus, being cautious with your spending, even when you can afford it, is a healthy financial habit. If that item really sticks with you, maybe you could keep an eye out for a future sale?

I know but sometimes it feels crazy when I look back on it, I've passed up on things I actually needed because they weren't on sale and then I end up just not getting them at all. Or I'll get it second hand. My boyfriend always buys expensive stuff fine though.

It's completely understandable to have mixed feelings about your approach, especially when you see someone close to you, like your boyfriend, having a different mindset about spending. It's okay to have different spending habits, and it's also okay to reassess yours if you feel like it's causing you to miss out on things you need or truly want. Maybe finding a balance could be helpful, like setting aside a small "splurge fund" for items you really want or need, sale or no sale. This way, you won't feel guilty about occasional full-price purchases, especially for necessities or things that would bring you joy. Remember, it's all about finding a strategy that works for you and makes you happy.

A splurge fund is not a bad idea and I will think about it. What's a good amount for that fund? D you think it's possible to just ummm rewire how you feel about spending? You know how logically I know I can afford it but the feeling doesn't care about logic. It's like guilt almost.

Creating a splurge fund is a great step! The amount really depends on your budget and financial goals. A good starting point could be setting aside a small percentage of your income—maybe 5% or whatever feels manageable—into this fund each month. This way, it grows over time, and you can use it guilt-free when you find something you love or need, sale or not. As for rewiring how you feel about spending, it's definitely possible, though it might take some time and mindfulness. Your feelings of guilt when spending could stem from deeper beliefs about money that you've developed over time. To shift these feelings, you might start by acknowledging the hard work you do to earn your money and reminding yourself that it's okay to enjoy the fruits of that labor. Also, consider the value and joy that the item will bring into your life, not just its cost. This mental shift won't happen overnight, but with practice, you can start to feel more at peace with making purchases that add value to your life. Reflecting on these feelings, perhaps even journaling about them, can provide insights and help ease the guilt over time.

Okay that just hit me. We really didn't have much growing up and my parents were stingy .. like no yearbook and no toys. Maybe I just absorbed all of their actions and never let it go. It's so unfair.

It sounds like you've had a really important realization about where your feelings towards spending might stem from. Growing up in an environment where resources were tight and spending was heavily controlled can certainly leave a lasting impact on how you view money and spending as an adult. It's tough to carry those experiences with you, especially when they lead to feelings of unfairness or deprivation. Recognizing this connection is a huge step towards understanding your spending habits and the emotions tied to them. It's not easy to confront these deep-seated beliefs, but understanding them is the first step towards change. Remember, your past doesn't have to dictate your financial future. You have the power to create a new narrative for yourself, one where you can make peace with your spending and find a balance that allows you to enjoy your hard-earned money while still being responsible. It might be helpful to explore these feelings further, maybe through conversations with someone you trust, journaling, or even seeking support from a professional who can guide you through unpacking these experiences. You're not alone in this, and it's absolutely okay to seek support as you work through these feelings.

Yeah. It could be that I have been punishing myself for spending money because of something that happened to me as a kid that I had zero control over. Maybe I've been carrying my parents' scarcity this whole time and calling it being responsible. I think I actually need to work through this properly so I can live my own life.

That's a really insightful reflection, and it sounds like you're on a path toward healing and taking control of your own narrative around money. Recognizing that you may have internalized your parents' scarcity mindset as a form of responsibility is a significant step. It shows a deep level of self-awareness and the desire to move forward in a healthier, more balanced way. Working through these feelings and past experiences can indeed help you live your life on your own terms, allowing you to make financial decisions that reflect your values and desires, not just the echoes of your past. It's a journey, certainly, and it's okay to take it one step at a time. Seeking support, whether through therapy, financial counseling, or supportive communities, can provide you with tools and perspectives to help reshape your relationship with money. Remember, your worth is not defined by how much you save or spend, and it's alright to treat yourself with kindness and allow for spending that brings joy and fulfillment into your life. You deserve to live fully, not just within the confines of past constraints. Here's to your journey towards financial freedom and emotional well-being. You're making brave steps, and that's something to be proud of.