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I feel kind of lost these days as far as family. I didn't have much family growing up and then I married into a big one but divorced later. I only have my adult sons and their families and a lot of time they go hang out with my ex's family on holidays. Tradition stuff I did for my kids seems lost like on Christmas and Thanksgiving and I feel like every holiday season is just another day. I have no idea how to be part of anything anymore

I'm really sorry to hear that you're feeling this way. It sounds incredibly tough to feel disconnected, especially during times that are meant to be about togetherness and family. It’s understandable that seeing traditions change and feeling left out can be deeply painful. Your feelings are valid, and it's okay to mourn the loss of those traditions and the sense of belonging you once had. Maybe creating new traditions could be a small step towards feeling a bit more connected during the holiday

I actually live with one of my sons and his wife and kid. I pay half the bills here. I think they try to make me feel included. I'm just missing things from my past I think. I'm definitely not going to be the person who volunteers places or goes outside my house to find friends. I'm a loner except for my family.

It's really good to hear that you're living with your son and his family and that they try to make you feel included. It sounds like you have a meaningful connection with them, even if it doesn't always fill the gap left by other traditions and relationships from the past. It's completely natural to miss those aspects of your life that used to bring you joy and a sense of belonging. Given your current living situation and your preference for staying more introspective and family-focused, maybe

It does seem like the daily routine is easier for doing things where I feel like Im' part of things. I think the nostalgia I am feeling is because of getting older and feeling like there's nothing that I'm important for. I actually think it's because of my tradition about st patricks day that we have a big meal that day so that is something. Although I don't like corned beef and cabbage and always made a turkey and my son makes the corned beef haha

It's wonderful that you have that St. Patrick's Day tradition as a touchstone for feeling connected and part of the family festivities, even with the playful difference in meal preference between you and your son. It's those unique, shared moments that often mean the most and can bring a sense of continuity and belonging. The fact that you've created a tradition that's eagerly anticipated and that brings everyone together is really special, and it speaks volumes about the role you play in your f

I was thinking about how my ex husband's family was so so big and had their own things they did on holidays.. and realized really the only holiday they actually shared with each other was thanksgiving. So my sons both wanting to be part of that still makes sense. Although now it's kind of stopped as people in that family passed away and got too old to deal with it anymore. Everyone kind of drifted into their own thing. And I'm usually part of that here in my house I guess. Maybe it's just a mood

It sounds like you're gaining some perspective on the situation, and that's really insightful. It's understandable that your sons would want to hold onto those Thanksgiving traditions for as long as they could, especially since it was a significant time for family gathering in your ex-husband's family. Now that things have naturally shifted and people have started to go their own ways, it's a transition for everyone involved, including you and your immediate family. Feeling like you're in a moo

You've definitely said some things that can help and I'll keep them in mind. thanks for the input. I'll hopefully feel better soon.

I'm really glad to hear that you've found some of what we talked about helpful. Remember, it's completely okay to have those moments of reflection and to feel how you're feeling. Changes and transitions can be challenging, but they can also lead to new beginnings and opportunities for growth and connection. Taking things one step at a time and communicating openly with your family can make a big difference. I hope you start feeling better soon, and remember, it's perfectly fine to reach out for