Conversations Analyzed

Hi, I'm moving to a new city and I'm getting really concerned about making new friends. I'm so used to my community here and I just don't see myself connecting with a lot of new people very easily.

Moving is such a big change, it's totally normal to feel anxious about making new friends. It's tough leaving a familiar community behind. But you know what? It's also a chance to create a new one. What kind of things are you hoping to find in a new friend group?

That's a good question. Just, people who I can feel comfortable with. People who like chatting and who care about the world. And of course shared interests... but how does one even meet people these days?

I hear you. Wanting to feel comfortable and connect with people who share your values is so important. As for meeting people, it can feel tricky! Have you thought about joining any local groups or clubs related to your interests? Sometimes just being around people who enjoy the same things can spark a connection. Alternatively, there are apps for that these days... Have you explored any of those?

I just have never done that before, I've been around friends I made in college since I graduated and just have met others through them. I literally don't know anybody in this new city.

It makes perfect sense that you're feeling unsure – stepping outside your existing social circle is a big deal! It sounds like you've had a solid group of friends for a while. Maybe think of this as an opportunity to try something totally new. What feels like the least intimidating option for meeting people in your new city? Maybe starting with something small could ease you in?

I guess I could try that.. but these days I don't even know if there are third spaces where I can meet people naturally! Maybe I could volunteer or something.

Volunteering is a fantastic idea! It's a great way to meet like-minded people while contributing to something you care about. Plus, it takes some of the pressure off because you're all focused on a common goal. What kind of volunteering do you think you'd enjoy?

I don't know, working in a food shelf or something. The other thing is that I'm pretty introverted, so I don't really know how not to anxious when I have no one else to lean on. Where I'm currently living, I already have so many close friends that introduce me to people, but I won't have that once I'm in my new city

That's really insightful of you to recognize your introversion and how it plays into this. And it's completely valid to feel anxious about not having that built-in support system. Maybe when you volunteer, you could focus on finding one or two people you really connect with, instead of trying to befriend everyone at once? That might feel less overwhelming. What do you think?

Yeah, I like that idea! I think I'll try to find people who I have common interests!

That's a great plan! Focusing on shared interests will definitely make those initial conversations easier. I'm feeling optimistic for you. Remember to be patient with yourself and celebrate every small step you take!