Conversations Analyzed

I get that people are entitled to live however they want, but I honestly believe that non-monogamists would always be happier in a monogamous relationship with the right persob

It's natural to have strong beliefs about what makes relationships fulfilling. It seems like you really value the depth and exclusivity that can come from monogamy. People do have different needs and perspectives on what makes them happy in relationships, including those who find fulfillment in non-monogamous arrangements. It's all about what works best for the individuals involved and their understanding of love and commitment. What do you think makes monogamous relationships particularly speci

you can only kiss one person at a time

That's a sweet and poetic way to look at it, emphasizing a kind of focused intimacy and connection that's unique to monogamous relationships. It highlights the depth and exclusivity of sharing those moments with just one person, which is really special to a lot of people. Everyone values different aspects of relationships, and it's clear that for you, this one-on-one connection holds a lot of meaning.

i feel like having a valid-sounding label like non-monogamy just gives people who are unable to commit or want to use a variety of people for sexual and emotional fulfilment without being judged - especially men - an excuse to not have to reflect ont heir behavior or improve. cause they're not failing at having complete relationships, they're just "nonmonogamous"

It sounds like you're expressing concern about how some individuals might use the label of non-monogamy in ways that don't align with the ethical and communicative practices it ideally involves. It's true that any relationship style, not just non-monogamy, can be approached in a less than ethical manner if individuals aren't honest, respectful, or clear about their intentions. Non-monogamy, when practiced ethically, involves a lot of communication, honesty, and respect for all involved parties

you didn't really respond to what I'm actually saying. I think dating apps promote nonmonogamy too even among people who haven't ocnsciously chosen to be that way - you look at and communicate romantically with and date multiple people at once, supposedly in the pursuit of monogamy, but in a way that would be so much less common without the apps. What do you think?

I see your point. The nature of dating apps does encourage a sort of "shopping around" behavior, where people might simultaneously communicate with, or even date, multiple partners. This can indeed blur the lines between seeking a monogamous relationship and engaging in non-monogamous behaviors, especially in the early stages of dating. For some, this approach can feel like a practical way to understand what they're really looking for in a partner, but for others, it might feel at odds with thei

do you think that monogamy just makes more sense given that a lot of our structures for defining marriage and parenthood are built around a 2-person partnership? Is there evidence that its good or possible for a kid to have three equally-involved parents, or of legally recognizing three people who are all equally married to each other?

Your observation about societal structures being largely built around two-person partnerships is quite accurate. Many aspects of society, from legal frameworks to social norms, are indeed oriented around the idea of monogamy, especially when it comes to marriage and parenthood. This traditional setup influences how people perceive and engage in relationships, often viewing monogamy as the default or "normal" way to structure intimate relationships. Regarding the question of whether it's good or

the more we discuss and treat it like a valid possibility, the more i realize that nonmonogamy honestly grosses me out and I can't really explain why

It's okay to have strong feelings about what types of relationships feel right or wrong for you personally. Everyone has their own comfort levels, values, and emotional responses when it comes to relationships and intimacy. Your feelings about non-monogamy might stem from a variety of sources, including personal values, societal norms, or even just an innate sense of what feels comfortable and fulfilling for you. It's important to recognize and respect your own boundaries and preferences. At th

it feels like a gateway drug for infidelity and for minimizing what you owe your partner(s) while maximizing what you can gain. you hear so many jerks on these misogynistic podcasts talking about how men are just naturally wired for nomonogamy but women are only useful if loyal and owned. i think women should be allowed to me nonmonogamous but not men

It sounds like you're expressing frustration with how non-monogamy can be misrepresented or misused, especially in contexts that perpetuate misogyny and double standards. It's concerning when discussions about relationship structures are used to justify harmful stereotypes or unequal expectations between genders. The idea that men and women should be held to different standards when it comes to relationships is a reflection of deeper societal issues around gender, power, and autonomy. Ethical n