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My boyfriend games almost every night and I don't really play. I play one game but I only play every other day. I don't think it's wrong for him to game that much but I am wondering why he does. He also yells really loud when he's gaming which makes me mad. I want to talk to him about it but I don't want to make it sound like I am controlling his gaming time. What is so appealing about gaming versus spending time in real life?

It sounds like you're in a bit of a tough spot, feeling a bit disconnected from your boyfriend's gaming habits. Gaming can be a really immersive and engaging hobby for many people. It offers a sense of achievement, connection with friends online, and an escape from the everyday stresses of life. For your boyfriend, it might be his way to unwind and enjoy his free time. However, your feelings are completely valid too. It's important in any relationship to feel connected and valued. The fact that his gaming, especially the loud yelling, is affecting you negatively is something worth addressing. It's not about controlling his gaming time but rather about finding a balance that works for both of you. Maybe you could suggest specific times for quiet or shared activities, so you both feel like you're getting the most out of your time together. When you bring it up, focus on how you feel and what you need, rather than what he's doing "wrong." It's more about finding mutual understanding and less about changing his habits entirely. Who knows, maybe there's a game out there you both could enjoy together, or maybe you can find a new hobby to explore as a couple. Communication is key, and it's great that you're looking to approach this thoughtfully.

That's a good point. However, we don't like the same type of games. He plays stressful games such as Valorant or APEX. I like to play games that are less competitive like Dress to Impress in Roblox and Where winds meet. He has tried to play Where winds meet with me but is inconsistent because he's not interested in that game. I tired to play Valorant but because I don't game a lot, my skills are bad so we always lose it. Do you have any suggestions of other games we can try or what we can do?

Finding a middle ground in gaming preferences can be a bit of a challenge, but it's great that you're both open to trying out each other's interests. Given the difference in your gaming styles, you might want to look for games that blend elements of cooperation with a more relaxed pace, avoiding the high-stress competitive atmosphere. Here are a few suggestions that might strike a nice balance for both of you: 1. **Stardew Valley**: It's a farming simulation game that's relaxing but also offers elements of adventure and teamwork if you play in co-op mode. You can work together to build your farm, explore caves, and even participate in village festivals. 2. **Minecraft**: With its creative and survival modes, Minecraft can cater to a wide range of play styles. You can focus on building and exploring together in a stress-free environment or tackle more challenging aspects like survival mode. 3. **Overcooked! 2**: This is a fun, cooperative cooking simulation game that requires teamwork and communication to manage the chaos of running a restaurant. It's lighthearted but can get quite challenging, which might appeal to both of your tastes. 4. **Portal 2**: This puzzle-platform game has a fantastic co-op mode where you solve puzzles together using portal guns. It's engaging, requires teamwork, and the puzzles can be quite satisfying to solve as a duo. 5. **Animal Crossing: New Horizons**: If you're looking for something super relaxed, Animal Crossing lets you create and manage your island paradise. While it's not co-op in the traditional sense, you can visit each other's islands and work on projects together. Aside from trying new games, it might also be helpful to set aside specific times to game together and other times for different shared activities. This way, you both get to enjoy each other's company in various ways, not just through gaming. Communication about what you enjoy and what you'd like more of is key. Maybe there's an opportunity to discover a new hobby together outside of gaming as well.

I know that there are low stress games out there. However, my boyfriend loses interests in them because he likes competitive games. Therefore, we cannot play together. Do you have any suggestions of games that 1. will fit us both and 2. we can play together?

Given your boyfriend's preference for competitive games and your enjoyment of less competitive, more relaxed experiences, finding a game that suits both of you can be a bit of a challenge, but not impossible. Consider games that offer both competitive and cooperative elements or games that are flexible enough to cater to different play styles. Here are a few suggestions that might meet both criteria: 1. **Rocket League**: It’s essentially soccer with cars, offering a competitive edge but in a fun, engaging, and sometimes casual atmosphere. You can play on the same team against others, which might satisfy his competitive nature while keeping things light and enjoyable for you. 2. **Fortnite**: While Fortnite is known for its competitive battle royale mode, it also offers a more relaxed, creative mode where you can build structures and create worlds without the pressure of combat. This could be a good compromise, allowing both of you to engage in the aspects of the game you each enjoy. 3. **Sea of Thieves**: This pirate-themed multiplayer game blends adventure with cooperation and competition. You can work together to explore, complete quests, and manage your ship, but there's also potential for competitive interaction with other players. It's a good mix of cooperative gameplay with elements of competition. 4. **Diablo III**: This action RPG can be played cooperatively and offers a satisfying mix of combat, exploration, and loot collection. It’s engaging for players who enjoy progression and competition but can be played at a more relaxed pace if desired. 5. **Splatoon 2**: This is a competitive, team-based shooter, but it's much more lighthearted and colorful than traditional shooters. It focuses on covering the arena with ink rather than direct combat, which might offer a nice middle ground for both of you. When trying out new games, it might also be helpful to approach them with an open mind and the understanding that the goal is to enjoy time spent together, whether you win or lose. Sometimes, the fun comes from learning to play together and finding joy in the shared experience, regardless of the game's pace or style.

I do like Rocket League. It sounds fun actually. I have tried Fortnite but I don't like it. I think my fingers are not used to gaming so they're not fast and flexible. How long do you think a person should game in a day for it to not be bad for their health?

It's great to hear you're interested in Rocket League! It's a fun game with a good balance between competitive and casual play. Regarding gaming and health, balance is key. The amount of time that's considered healthy for gaming can vary from person to person, depending on other factors like physical activity, social interactions, and overall lifestyle. Generally, it's suggested that adults aim for no more than 2-3 hours of screen time for entertainment, including gaming, per day. This recommendation helps ensure there's enough time for physical activity, social interactions, work, and rest. However, the quality of gaming time matters too. If gaming doesn't interfere with responsibilities, physical health, or social relationships, a bit more time might be okay for some. It's also important to take regular breaks to reduce strain on your eyes, hands, and posture. Every hour, try to take a 5 to 10-minute break. Stretch, move around, or just rest your eyes to help mitigate fatigue and repetitive strain injuries. If you're finding gaming controls a bit challenging, don't worry! Like any skill, it improves with practice. There are also games with adjustable difficulty levels or customizable controls that can make the experience more enjoyable while you're getting used to it. Remember, everyone's lifestyle and responsibilities are different, so what's healthy can vary. Listening to your body and ensuring you're maintaining a balanced lifestyle is key.

You're right. I can definitely get better at gaming if I practice. Then, I will able to play games with my boyfriend. However, my boyfriend plays for about 4 hours at night. He usually plays while doing homework and work. Do you think I should say something about that? He still gets all his work done and his resume is stacked.

It's encouraging to hear you're open to practicing gaming to share more experiences with your boyfriend. Regarding his gaming habits, it sounds like he has found a way to balance his gaming, homework, and work responsibilities effectively, especially since you mentioned he gets all his work done and has a strong resume. If his gaming time doesn't negatively impact his responsibilities, health, or your relationship, it might not be necessary to express concern about the amount of time he spends gaming. Everyone has different ways of relaxing and managing their time, and it seems like your boyfriend has found a routine that works well for him. However, if you feel that his gaming affects the quality time you spend together or if you're concerned about his well-being (like if he's sacrificing sleep to game), it could be worth bringing up in a supportive and non-confrontational way. You can express that you understand gaming is important to him and that you support his hobbies, but also share your feelings and discuss the possibility of designating certain times for shared activities or ensuring adequate rest. Remember, communication is key in any relationship. It's about finding a balance that works for both of you, where you can enjoy your time together and individually, engaging in personal interests.