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I don't know...I'm so conflicted about my siblings. I have two little brothers and I just hate how they got better treatment than me when we were younger. They never had to do any chores while I had to. They didn't even have to pick up their toys, it was my job to. However, I do want to protect them like a big sister still. I don't know what to feel.

I can hear how tough this is for you. It's really understandable to feel conflicted about your siblings. On one hand, witnessing the unequal treatment when you were younger must have been really frustrating and unfair. On the other, wanting to protect them shows how much you care, despite everything. It's okay to have mixed feelings about them. Balancing those feelings of frustration with love and care isn't easy, but it shows a lot of strength and compassion on your part. Have you been able to

I haven't been able to talk to anyone because nobody really knows and it's not something I talk about often. I do talk about it with my older sister as she received the same treatment as me but it's less of a talk but just us arguing about it. I can't put my finger on what I feel about my siblings.

It sounds like carrying this mix of feelings has been quite isolating for you, especially if it's not something you feel comfortable sharing widely. It's good, though, that you have your older sister to share these experiences with, even if those conversations can turn into arguments. It shows there's a shared understanding between you two, even if it's expressed through frustration. Feelings about family, especially siblings, can be incredibly complex. It's okay not to have a clear, straightf

I used to write like papers about my family when I was mad. I wanted to remember my feelings so I don't forget about them. That was a long time ago, maybe I should start writing again. I mean I am mostly afraid people will read it.

Writing can be such a powerful way to process your feelings, especially with something as deep and complex as family dynamics. It's great that you used to do that and found it helpful in some way. If you're worried about others reading your thoughts, maybe you could try keeping a digital journal that's password-protected, or continue writing on paper but find a hidden or secure place to keep your writings. That way, you can express yourself freely without the fear of being read by someone else.

I'm not sure what to write about my siblings because it's so confusing. Like I love them but at the same time I feel like "Why should I do this for them?". Hopefully that makes sense?

Absolutely, that makes a lot of sense. Your feelings are totally valid and quite common when it comes to sibling relationships, especially with the background you've shared. It's natural to feel a mix of love and resentment, support and frustration. These emotions don't cancel each other out; rather, they coexist, reflecting the complexity of family bonds. When you start writing, you don't have to have a clear direction or even a specific goal in mind. You could start with exactly what you told

Even if I write it down, I'm still living it in real life. It doesn't make it go away. I don't know how I act towards my siblings. I know it's not their fault, but then whose fault is it? Or is it anyone's fault? Maybe I overthink too much about it.

It sounds like you're grappling with some really tough emotions and questions. Writing things down isn't a cure-all, but it can be a tool to help you process and maybe view your feelings from a new angle. It's true that it doesn't change the reality of your situation, but it might give you a bit more clarity or even a bit of relief in understanding your own feelings better. It's very mature of you to recognize that your siblings aren't to blame for the dynamics you grew up with. Often, these si