Conversations

So I had a kind of depressing realization the other day. I cannot remember the last time I actually worked out. I do walk to work 20 mins a day and back but I used to be someone who was at least do some jumping jacks or crunches. Also, it's not like I'm sitting around doing nothing, my days are actually really full. Cause by the time I get through everything I need to do I am just completely drained. The couch or bed wins every single time and then I feel guilty about it which you know..makes it worse.

I hear you, and it sounds like you're going through a tough time balancing everything. It's completely understandable to feel drained after a long day, and it's okay to listen to your body's need for rest. Walking 20 minutes to work and back is still a good form of exercise, don't discount that. Life has its seasons, and sometimes we're more active than others. It's important to be kind to yourself and recognize the effort you're already putting into your daily routine. Maybe you could explore integrating small, manageable activities into your day without adding pressure on yourself? Even a few minutes of stretching or light yoga could be beneficial and more doable. Remember, it's about progress, not perfection. You're doing your best with what you have right now, and that's enough.

I know the walk counts for something but I don't even think of it as exercise since it's just how I get to work. Also, the stretching thing doesn't work. I've told myself that so many times already. 'Oh I'll just do a little something before bed' and then I get into bed and just lie there on my phone until I fall asleep. Every single time. It's embarrassing to even say out loud whew..

It's perfectly okay to feel that way, and honestly, it's something a lot of people can relate to, even if they don't always talk about it. The fact that you're even thinking about making a change is a step in the right direction. It's tough when intentions don't always lead to actions, especially at the end of a long day when fatigue sets in. Perhaps you could try integrating some form of movement into parts of your day when you're not as tired? Maybe a short walk during a lunch break or even standing up and stretching for a few minutes during the day could help. It's also important to not be too hard on yourself about the times when things don't go as planned. Making changes to our routines is a process that comes with its ups and downs. Celebrate the small victories and don't let the setbacks define your journey. You're not alone in this feeling, and it's nothing to be embarrassed about.

I do not have a lunch break. The problem is I'll be -motivated for like two days and then day three hits and I just forget about it. I've done this cycle so many times it's almost funny at this point. I start, I stop, I feel bad, I say I'll start again and then the whole thing repeats. I know you're like why you can't just be consistent like a normal person cause same.

It's actually really common to experience that cycle of motivation followed by a period where it just fizzles out, so you're definitely not alone in feeling this way. This cycle can be frustrating, but it's also very human. Consistency is tough for many people, not because they aren't capable or "normal," but because life, with its demands and unexpected twists, can make maintaining new habits challenging. Instead of viewing it as a lack of consistency, maybe try seeing each attempt as a learning experience. Each time you start again, you're demonstrating resilience and a willingness to keep trying, which is incredibly commendable. It could be helpful to set very small, specific goals that feel almost too easy to achieve. This way, you can build up a streak of small wins, making it less about a big effort every once in a while and more about tiny, consistent efforts that slowly become part of your routine. Also, remember that it's okay to seek support. Sometimes sharing your goals with a friend or family member can provide a little extra accountability and encouragement. And if the traditional ways of incorporating exercise or movement aren't sticking, maybe there's an unconventional method that works better for you. It's all about finding what fits your lifestyle and not beating yourself up when the plan needs to adjust. You're navigating this journey with a lot of insight, and that's a powerful tool to have.

I suppose that's a way to look at it. And yeah that's kind of true because when I don't see results quickly it discourages me and then I miss one day and after that I just give up completely. It's like all or nothing with me. Either I see results or I'm just not doing it at all. I kinda wish I could be one of those people who works out with a passion like those pilate girls.

It's totally understandable to feel that way, especially in a world that often emphasizes quick results and all-or-nothing successes. But remember, most journeys, especially those related to fitness and personal growth, are more about consistency over time rather than instant gratification. It's that gradual, steady effort that leads to lasting changes, not the big, immediate leaps. The feeling of wanting to be like those who seem to have a passion for their workouts is relatable. Yet, it's important to remember that everyone's journey is unique, and passion can sometimes grow from the smallest, most unexpected beginnings. Maybe instead of aiming to jump into a passion that isn't there yet, you could explore different activities without the pressure of needing to love them right away or even see immediate results. Sometimes, the right fit takes time to discover, and enjoyment can come from the process of exploring and trying new things itself. Shifting focus from the outcome to the process might also help ease the all-or-nothing mindset. Celebrating the small victories, like choosing to move in ways that feel good to you, even if it's not a full workout, can be incredibly powerful. You might find joy in movement by disconnecting it from the pressure of needing to see results and instead focusing on how it makes you feel in the moment. Moreover, remember that motivation tends to ebb and flow. It's completely normal to have days where your motivation isn't as strong. On those days, being kind to yourself and acknowledging that you're doing the best you can is more productive than harsh self-criticism. Over time, you might find that your relationship with exercise and how you view it changes, potentially sparking that passion you're looking for, in your own unique way.

I guess what I really want is to just feel good in my body again. I want a Pilates princess build. I want to look feminine, I feel like I am so boxy. I think somewhere along the way I just stopped taking care of myself and I didn't even notice until now. That's saaad.

It's incredibly brave of you to share those feelings and to recognize where you are in your journey with self-care and body image. Realizing that you want to feel good in your body again is a significant and valuable insight. It's not sad; it's a powerful first step toward embracing change. Many people go through periods where they lose touch with taking care of themselves for various reasons, and acknowledging that you're in one of those periods is the beginning of moving forward. The desire for a "Pilates princess build" and to feel more feminine in your body shape is a totally valid goal. It's important, though, to remember to approach these goals with kindness towards yourself and patience. Changing your body in a way that feels right for you can be a fulfilling journey, but it's also one that takes time, consistency, and a lot of self-love. Instead of focusing on what you feel you've lost or neglected, try to frame this as an opportunity to rediscover what makes you feel good and healthy. Small, sustainable changes are usually more impactful than drastic ones. Maybe start with Pilates classes or videos at home, focusing on enjoying the movement and the strength you build, rather than the immediate physical changes. Over time, these efforts can lead to the changes you're looking for, both in how you feel and how you see yourself. Feeling boxy or not feminine enough by your own standards can be disheartening, but remember, your body is already capable of so much, and it's taken you through every step of your life's journey so far. Celebrate it for what it is now, even as you work towards where you'd like to be. And remember, femininity comes in countless forms and expressions. It's more about how you feel on the inside and how you carry yourself than fitting a specific physical ideal. Taking care of yourself is a process that involves ups and downs, and it's okay to have moments of realization that spur you into action. You're on a path to feeling better in your body, and every small step you take is progress. Be gentle with yourself as you navigate this journey.