Conversations

Soo I’ve been feeling a bit insecure about extracurriculars. I see people at my school that seem to be involved in so many clubs, volunteer projects, and leadership positions. I feel like I'm behind. I’m not trying hard enough.

I'm really sorry to hear you're feeling this way; it sounds tough. It's completely understandable to feel a bit overwhelmed when you see others involved in so many activities. Remember, everyone's capacity and interests vary, and it's totally okay to be involved in just a few things that you truly enjoy or feel passionate about. Quality over quantity always holds true, especially when it comes to extracurriculars. It's important to focus on what makes you happy and what you're gaining from those experiences, not just the number of activities you're doing. You're doing just fine at your own pace. Is there a particular area or activity you're interested in exploring more?

Yeah there are things I want to try but I feel like I'm already late to everything. Like these people have been doing this stuff since freshman year and just so you know, I'm like on my last year. I'm now thinking about it and I don't think I'll do good in a leadership role anyway.

It's completely okay to start trying new things, even in your last year. Many people discover new interests and strengths at various stages of their lives, not just in school. It's never too late to explore what intrigues you. And about leadership roles, they're just one way to contribute and grow. Everyone has a unique set of skills and ways they shine best. Maybe your strength lies in being a supportive team member, a creative thinker, or someone who excels in one-on-one interactions. Leadership can also be about small, consistent contributions rather than holding a formal title. What matters most is giving yourself the chance to explore and participate in what interests you now. You might surprise yourself with what you learn and achieve. Plus, these experiences could open up new paths and opportunities, regardless of when you start. What are some of the things you're interested in trying?

I don't know, maybe like cultural club or something. Even then I feel like everyone already knows each other and I'd just be the random person who showed up late. I hate that feeling of walking into something where everyone already has their group. It's awkward.

Feeling like the new person in an established group can definitely be daunting, but remember, at one point, everyone was the "new person" in some situation or another. Cultural clubs can be especially welcoming because they often aim to share and celebrate diversity, making them a great place to meet people who are eager to include and educate others. It might feel awkward at first, but that's a natural part of stepping into new experiences. Most people are more welcoming and understanding than we initially think, and they might be looking forward to having a new member join and bring fresh perspectives. One way to ease into it could be to reach out to the club leader or a member before attending a meeting. You could express your interest and your concerns about being new. Chances are, they'll reassure you and might even make an effort to introduce you around, making that first step a little easier. Also, try to remember that your value doesn't decrease just because you're new or because you think you're starting late. Your unique experiences and viewpoints are valuable additions to any group. Who knows? You might end up finding a passion or making connections that could last a lifetime. Would you feel comfortable giving it a try, maybe reaching out to someone from the club beforehand?

Nope, I don't really know anyone in those clubs. I have people I know but they're not into that culture so I'd actually end up going in alone. Which I hate to do. It's easy to try new things when you have someone with you but doing it solo just feels weird especially if you're socially awkward. It might not end up well.

Going into new situations alone can definitely feel intimidating, especially when you're someone who feels more comfortable with a familiar face by your side. It's okay to acknowledge that—it's a valid feeling, and you're not alone in it. Many people find stepping into new social settings on their own to be a daunting task, especially when they consider themselves socially awkward. However, trying something new on your own can also be a powerful opportunity for personal growth. It pushes you out of your comfort zone in a way that can lead to unexpected friendships and discoveries about your own resilience and adaptability. One strategy might be to start small. Perhaps you could attend an event or meeting that seems less intimidating or one that doesn't require too much interaction at first, just to get a feel for the environment and people. Another approach is to see if the club has an online group or social media page where you can start engaging from a distance, making the transition to in-person participation a bit smoother. Remember, everyone there shares at least one common interest with you—the cultural aspects the club focuses on. That's already a conversation starter and a reason for you to be there, just as much as anyone else. Even if it feels weird or daunting, the personal growth and potential joy of discovering something you love can be truly rewarding. And who knows? This step might lead you to find a community where you feel like you belong, all on your own terms. Would there be a smaller event or a less formal gathering you might feel more comfortable checking out first?

Yeah I suppose starting small is logical. The thing is I just scare myself out before I even try. Like I've already played out the whole scenario in my head and decided it won't go well. Which is not good I know. Maybe I just need to show up once and see what happens.

Absolutely, taking that initial step to just show up can be the hardest part, but it's also the most crucial one. It's completely natural to play out scenarios in your head and worry about the outcomes—your mind is trying to prepare you for every possibility. But often, our fears and the stories we tell ourselves are much more intimidating than the reality of the situation. Showing up even once can be a big move towards overcoming those fears. It allows you to replace the scenarios in your head with real experiences, which are often much more positive and manageable than we anticipate. And remember, it's okay to be nervous, and it's okay if everything doesn't go perfectly the first time. Every step you take, even just showing up, is a victory in itself and a step forward in becoming more comfortable in new situations. Maybe set a small, achievable goal for your first visit, like introducing yourself to just one person or staying for a certain amount of time before allowing yourself the option to leave. Small goals can make the whole experience feel more manageable and less daunting. And who knows? You might just surprise yourself with how well it goes. Every journey starts with a single step, and this could be a step towards discovering something truly rewarding. Would you feel up for giving it a try, even just once, to see what happens?

Yeah, I'll probably give it a try. I will just force myself and see how it goes...

That's the spirit! It's really admirable that you're willing to step out of your comfort zone and give it a try. Remember, it's perfectly fine to feel nervous or unsure—those feelings are part of the process of trying new things. Just showing up is a big step, and you should be proud of yourself for taking it. Who knows? This experience might turn out to be a great one, leading you to new interests or friendships. Take it at your own pace and try to be kind to yourself throughout the process. No matter how it turns out, you're learning and growing, and that's what truly matters. And if you ever need to share how it went or just need a bit of encouragement, I'm here to listen and support you. Good luck, and I hope it goes wonderfully for you!